Fish Tales

Ed has the best stories of any fisherman. Nobody really believes them though. His stories are,. . . well they’re just unbelievable! Like the one where he almost snagged a 10 foot bass on an ultralight, but lost it at the last second when it wrapped its tail around a bunch of swamp grass. Then one of the fish’s buddies swam up and bit the line clean through. That’s how he lost his fifty dollar lure, he sure was mad about that one for a long time. Then there was the time he came back soaked to the skin saying a five hundred pound musky had taken him for a cruise around the lake. The fish had pulled him so fast that he was able to get in some excellent water skiing. He bragged that he had done some of the best slalom in the history of the lake. My favorite story though, was the one about the whale. Imagine a whale in the center of Oxtrip lake! Well he swears it happened, He tells the story like this, . .

The day was beautiful, full of puffy blue clouds floatin’ in a clear blue sky. I decided to go out fishing, as I was craving a good fish fry. So I grabbed my pole, tackle box and brand new net that I’d bought from Bergers fer $9.99; and I headed out to the boat. It was a dead day. I threw out some a my best lures for three hours, yet nothing was biting. I was about hang up my pole for the day when I gazed up at the sky and thought how the clouds looked a whole lot like a fish in a giant bowl. They were swimming around in circles, glubbing bubbles to the surface. . .That’s when I felt it, a small bump on my boat, then a brush on my line. I woke from my daydream with a start and was on my feet in an instant. Now I knew what I had to do, I’d just lead him along some. Another bump on my boat, almost knocked me over. So I looked over the edge a my boat. The shadow of the thing was huge. I started pulling my line in slowly, I knew I ‘as outmatched. But the fish took ahold of  the thing. It must a been two hundred feet long if it was a foot. It swirled around under my boat, rising, getting bigger. Soon it was right beneath me, then it swam behind the boat and swirled around to face me. All of a sudden it was loomin’ over me.  It was a monster a’right, it’s teeth ‘ere sharp as a an elks horn, and long as my arm. It’s huge mouth loomed over me. It’s eyes blazed green like algae, and it’s fins ‘ere as big as parachutes. I realized then that it was goin’ to swallow me whole. I grabbed my net and kicked the end off so it was just a jagged stump. I jabbed it into the top of the fishes mouth. The fish made a awful gurgling noise. That’s ‘en I saw it though, my best lure was stuck in the top of it’s mouth. Well, I wasn’t goin’ to lose my new lure,  I didn’t think twice. I grabbed my pliers from the box an’  jumped in. I pluck’d that lure right out. The fish’s mouth closed with a smack barely avoiding my toes. Then it sank under th’ surface in a haze a bubbles. I was one lucky son of a gun that day. It’s the honest to goodness truth, how else could I ‘ave lost my net after all!”

 Now, mother says it’s a load of phooey, and I am inclined to believe her. But true or not it sure is one great story.

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