Bar headed geese are the adventurers of the bird world. Every year they undertake an adventure of mammoth proportions. They fly over the Himalayas to get to their nesting ground. This in and of itself is a daunting enough challenge surely, however, some of these daredevil birds are a little more daring than others. There is a certain group of birds; the élite you might say; who have taken it upon themselves to take the ultimate migratory challenge. Mt. Everest; sandwiched in the middle of the Himalayas; stands an imposing 29,035 feet above sea level; and it is growing all the time! It is the tallest mountain on the planet. The birds who dare to travel this route are more than brave, they are fearless! They belong to a special club called “The Mount Everest Migratory Adventuring Bar Headed Geese Squad.” or “MEMABHGS” for short. Ok, It’s a little long and pretentious. They really have no sense of humility. As I was saying the birds who take this challenge are few.
Ed is one such bird. He is an average bird of over-sized dreams. While he is not the biggest or the strongest of bar headed geese, and he is certainly not the fastest. Ed is in possession of an overly large amount of spunk. Other than that he is Ed, just Ed.
Preparing for a trip like this requires intensive planning. Ed frequently flies at high altitudes to enhance his lung capacity. He will also overnight in frosty mountain crags to test his cold tolerance. One night as he was preparing for his flight he a commercial bird flew past his nest shouting this message,. . .
Are you an avian on the go? A bird in the know. Trying to fly over peaks of snow? Have we got the product for you! FLEW-DOZE! It makes even the most gimpy geese gallant; the most bar headed birds bold. FLEW-DOZE is an innovative product for feathered friends who are in need of a boost. FLEW-DOZE will keep you awake for hours! More energy than you’ve ever had before. mumble mumble mumble , . . . dangerous,. . . mumble mumbledy-mumble, possibile side-effects. . . . Bum-didddy-dum-dum!
“That was certainly interesting,” thinks Ed. Taking advice from an expert is better than a commercial though, so he decides to talk to members of the MEMABHGS.
“The only thing that got me through was FLEW-DOZE” Bold Flyer, the captain of MEMBGHGS tells Ed.
“You should really try this new product,. . . ” says Fleet Winger, another member. Then the celebrity endorsement bird visits both members who will reward them generously with extra worms.
Ed decides to try this new product before migration. Ed opens the pack and mixes the powder with his pons water. He drinks it quickly because it tastes tart, like biting into a lemon. All of a sudden his limbs feel twitchy and tingly. He just has to fly! He glides and soars in the clouds. What a wonderful exuberant feeling! Ed flies higher than he has ever flown before. He feels strong and free! He is faster than he has ever been before. Flying for hours he feels amazing! This really is a great product, how has he ever lived without it, he wonders.
After an hour of free-wheeling in the heavens. All of a sudden his wings lose his power and he dive bombs. Ed feels weak, and his body feels heavy like a tank. He is falling, falling, falling. Ed is luckily saved by a pocket of warm air that sets him down on a mountain peak. Ed lays there wondering what happened. For hours he lays there, trying to regain enough strength to fly home. He manages to scoot himself into a crag of a rock when he sees a hungry hawk in the distance. When he recovers he flies back home and looks at the label on the package, “WARNING: MAY CAUSE SUDDEN DROWSINESS!” written in very small lettering underneath the flap. Ed vows never to try that again.
It takes Ed several weeks before he is feeling better again, and by that time he is lucky to migrate at all, so he fore-goes his dream of Mt. Everest for the year. In the years following he tries repetitively. Finally on his fourth attempt that he is successful in crossing over Mt. Everest. Upon his initiation into MEMBGHS, a celebrity endorsement representative from FLEW-DOZE attempts to enlist his aid in the now floundering sales of the product, at which time Ed gracefully invites him to take a flight.