Over the rolling sugary hills, and through a haze of moon dust you will find the enchanted world of the sugar sprites. It is a magical place where everything is syrupy sweet. This sprite kingdom is ruled by a good, kind, wonderful king. The king was a little bit, how do I put this delicately? . . . large! In a kingdom made of sweets it is a dangerous thing to have a sweet tooth. The kings tooth was the sweetest around. The poor king just couldn’t get enough! He ate ice cream all day long. The queen and princess didn’t know what to do with him! Princess Asplee was very clever, and was known as the most resourceful fairy in the kingdom, but this problem seemed to have no answer. The king only ate when he was nervous, or under great duress. Unfortunately, being overly large made the king feel very durred, erm, duressed, . . . Heaven knew he had enough on his plate as it was protecting the kingdom from the Evil Lord Pimbender trying to conquer every week.
In the wide world, there never was an evil villain as persistent as Lord Pimbender. He had been beaten a hundred times at least. Lord Pimbender was not related to the king as most evil villains are, he was just there. Noone really even knew how he gained the title of “Lord”. I think he just gave himself the title personally, he liked feeling important, and a title seemed the easiest way to become important. At least I am sure that was his thought process. As I was saying, he was extremely evil. He was always trying to seize this creamers land, or that creamers ice cream. He seemed very interested in creamiculture if the truth be told. He kept seizing goods, and land, and the king kept stopping him. He lived in a horrible awful forest of pickles, where everything was sour and bitter. You might say he was green with envy.
The princess was flying about one day when Pimbender captured her. “The king is sure to agree to my demands this time. He took her to his sour hall, and locked her in the deepest cellar. It was cool, and the walls were a deep green. She was ankle deep in a liquid smelling faintly of vinegar, she cried to go home. When the King heard of the princesses plight, he sent winged emmisaries to Pimbender, pleading her release. The fiend was delighted. “I will only let her go on one condition, I want to be King!” the emmissaries returned his message to the king. The king was saddened to lose his kingdom, but saw no other alternative.
The princess, busy as she was had devised a means of escape. It turned out that the cellar was not merely green, it was in fact constructed entirely of pickles. The princess took a bite and then another, and soon had chewed her way free from her kosher cell. She flew free, and arrived just in time to save the kings kingdom from certain disaster. She whispered in the kings ear that she had an idea. The king summoned Lord Pimbinder,and they held council together. The king offered Lord Pimbinder a delivery of fresh icecream every week in exchange for his best crispy dills. He was delighted, he ceased from his evil ways, and completely turned around. The King stopped worrying so much about foreign affiars, and stopped stress eating, and therefore lost alot of weight. Which was all thanks to a very clever princess.