The Un-do house

Once there was a young Family called the McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer’s. The Daddy was named Abe; the mommy, Susan, and the two little children were Cliff and Norma. They had saved for a few years and were finally buying their first home. It was a lovely little place right in the center of town. It had a white picket fence, and a lovely view of the park; It was perfect in every way.

The McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer’s moved into their new house and on the first morning after move in they noticed a problem. The first problem they noticed was that the faucet in the kitchen started to leak. “drip-drip-drop”. That was not a problem, they just tightened the faucet back up and thought nothing of it.

Their house was perfect in every way, their life blissful. On the second day, they noticed a new problem. The kitchen faucet started leaking again, “drip-drip-drop”; and a floorboard in the hall started creaking, “fwoo-vooey”. They tightened the faucet again, and nailed the board down, and thought everything was fine in their perfect little home.

The third morning dawned bright and clear, they again noticed the leaky kitchen faucet. It went, “drip-drip-drop.” The floorboard had come loose again, “fwoo-vooey,” and now the door hinge started squeaking, “ree-cree.” They tightened the faucet, nailed the board down, and oiled the door; and they thought everything would be fine, after all the house was perfect.

They woke up on the fifthe morning only to find the kitchen faucet dripping again, “drip-drip-drop”. That floorboard had come loose again, “fwoo-vooey,” and the door hinge still squeaked, “ree-cree.” But now there was a new problem, The garage door would’t work. It just ground, “gggchichichichi.” So they tightened the faucet, nailed the floorboard, oiled the door hinge, and replaced the garage door chain. Mr. McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer thought that was more than a good days work. They all went to bed, in their perfect home.

On the fifth day; the faucet still dripped,”drip-drip-drop,” the floorboard still rubbed, “fwoo-vooey,” the door hinge still squeaked, “ree-cree,” and the garage door still ground, “gggchichichichi.” And on top of that a tile fell off of the bathroom wall, “chink.” They tightened the faucet, nailed the floorboard, oiled the door-hinge, replaced the garage door motor, and puttied the tile back on the wall. They hoped that this was the day that things would stay fixed, and went to bed.

The sixth day the family woke refreshed; however the faucet still dripped,”drip-drip-drop,” the floorboard still rubbed, “fwoo-vooey,” the door hinge still squeaked, “ree-cree,” and the garage door still ground, “gggchichichichi,” two tiles fell off the shower wall, “chink-chink.” Then to top it all off the toilet wouldn’t stop running, “wish-swish-gurgle-slurp.” Mr. McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer tightened the faucet again, double nailed the floorboard, oiled the hinge, checked the garage doors track alignment, put the tiles back on the bathroom wall, and fixed the chain on the toilet. He was beginning to wonder how much work perfection was really supposed to take.

The seventh day was supposed to be lucky, but it was more of the same for the  McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer Family; the faucet dripped,”drip-drip-drop,” the floorboard rubbed, “fwoo-vooey,” the door hinge squeaked, “ree-cree,” and the garage door ground, “gggchichichichi,” three tiles fell off the shower wall, “chink-chink-chink,” the toilet wouldn’t stop running, “wish-swish-gurgle-slurp.” When Mr. McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer flipped the switch to flix the bathroom problems the light burned out, “uzzzzt.” So he tightened the faucet again, double nailed the floorboard, oiled the hinge, checked the laser on the garage door, put the tiles back on the bathroom wall, and replaced the plug on the toilet, and replaced the bathroom lightbulb. He was beginning to doubt whether or not this house was really as perfect as he had thought. It was becoming downright agrivating!

The eigth day was stormy, the family wondered if the house might not blow down altogether. However the only new problem they noticed was that rain gutters were blocked and leaking, “pitter, patter.” The faucet dripped,”drip-drip-drop,” the floorboard rubbed, “fwoo-vooey,” the door hinge squeaked, “ree-cree,” and the garage door ground, “gggchichichichi,” four tiles fell off the shower wall, “chink-chink-chink-chink,” the toilet wouldn’t stop running, “wish-swish-gurgle-slurp,” and the light in the nursery went out, “uzzzzt.” So he tightened the faucet again, triple nailed the floorboard, replaced the hinge, checked the garage door rails for damage, put the tiles back on the bathroom wall, replaced the chain on the toilet and the light in the nursery. Abe cursed his perfect house and went to bed.

The ninth day was cool, and calm; it felt like the world was recovering from the storm. However the house would not let the family rest a moment at all the faucet dripped,”drip-drip-drop,” the floorboard rubbed, “fwoo-vooey,” the door hinge squeaked, “ree-cree,” and the garage door ground, “gggchichichichi,” five tiles fell off the shower wall, “chink-chink-chink-chink-chink,” the toilet wouldn’t stop running, “wish-swish-gurgle-slurp,” the light in the great room went out, “uzzzzt,” the rain gutters were still draining from the day before and went, “pitter, patter.” Abe tightened the faucet again, replaced the floorboard entirely. Mr. McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer had no idea what else he could do for the squeaking door or the grinding garage door. He put the tiles back on the bathroom wall, replaced the chain on the toilet and the light in the great room, cleaned out the rain gutters and patched the holes. Susan was getting dinner ready when she noticed that the stove wouldn’t light. It just went, “tiktiktiktiktik.” So the family had salads and fruit for dinner without any bread. Abe McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer called a handyman to fix the perfect stove.

On the tenth day Mr. McJorgen-Steinsenmeyer couldn’t make himself get out of bed. From his room he heard the faucet drip,”drip-drip-drop,” the floorboard rub, “fwoo-vooey,” the door hinge squeak, “ree-cree,” and the garage door grind, “gggchichichichi,” six tiles falling from the shower wall, “chink-chink-chink-chink-chink-chink,” the toilet running in the bathroom, “wish-swish-gurgle-slurp,” the light in another room going out, “uzzzzt,” the rain gutters still dripping despite a lack of precipitation, “pitter, patter,” and the stove clicking uselessly, “tiktiktiktiktiktiktik.” Abe heard all of these things from his perfect bed, but could not make himself get up to fix them. “What would the point be anyway?” he thought to himself, “they are just going to break again tomorrow.” So he just lay there in bed, not fixing anything, or thinking much of anything either.

Then he heard other sounds coming from his window, wonderful sounds. “blah-di-blah,” went the gabbing neighbors, “swish,” went the wind in the trees, “wichitee-wichitee-wichitee,” went the songbird, “tinkle-tinkle” went the calming rush of the fountain in the park, “zzhring zzhring” went the bell from Mikey Jones’s bike as he delivered papers, “ding, ting, dee” went the musical notes of the windchime in Mrs. Bondins yard, “tap-tap-tap” went the echo of walkers feet on the pavement, “creak croak, creak croak,” went the swings in the park, “spritztzee-zeee” scolded the playful squirrel outside his window. Those were all lovely sounds and they wakened him in a grand way. There was another sound though, a squealing, giggling that was sweeter than all these. “EEEEEE, he-he-he.” He looked out of his window to see Cliff chasing Norma around the yard. He forgot about the faucet, and the floorboard. The door hinge, garage door, and kitchen tiles seemed not to matter anymore. The light could wait, the toilet could run, the gutters would leak, the stove might be fixed later. Abe went to play with his children and was thankful that he had the perfect home for his perfect family.

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This entry was posted in Exhuberant Early Schoolers, 4-7 years, Terrorific Toddlers, 1-3 years and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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